Public hygiene

'Struth!' said the barely sober Australian tourist. 'That's something you don't see every day!' It was about eleven o' clock on a sunny morning and he was reversing out of a crowd of locals gathered by a gateway on Soi Nana. I asked one of the local massage girls what was going on in my best pidgin Thai.

Taking pity on my dismal efforts in Thai, she answered in English:

'He wash him.'

At this point the barely sober Australian tourist added:

'He's washing his cock, mate. Bold as brass, out there on the street!'

'But why the big crowd?', I asked.

'Well...' said the Australian with a suppressed snigger, 'it's f*c*in' huge; I've never seen anything like it. I don't think these girls have, either.'

My breakfast brandies immediately kicked in and I found myself thinking:

'Well; it's probably professional interest on their part; not prurience.'

The thrill of the new was beginning to wear off on the crowd as it parted and went about its business and finally, I was there.  In a front row seat, as it were; confronted by this extraordinary spectacle. The man in question was still going at it hammer and tongs; yanking it one way and then the other, getting the soapy sponge into virtually every crease and crevice before rinsing with water.  Making sure that the head was clean.

The Australian hadn't lied. As cocks go, it was an oustanding specimen. From beak to tail feathers, it was a good two feet. And with bags of attitude!  The reddened wattles and the unblinking golden eye indicated complete avian indignation.  It was bad enough being washed by a human but being washed in front of a whole troupe of humans was more than dignity could bear.  

Cock-fighting is still popular n Thailand. Yes, I know. I've heard all the judgemental tourist crap before. 'Judge not others lest ye be judged' (Matthew 7:1), I believe, is the relevant biblical quote. Cockfighting is heavily regulated in Thailand with the main aim of government policy being to reduce the links with illegal gambling.  To many, though, the interest lies in breeding these wonderful birds; an interest that transgresses classes and regions. Stud birds often change hands for sums of a million baht (£25,000) and for breeders, it is an all-consuming passion.

Some years ago, I interviewed a well-known Thai rock star.  Even via the excellent interpreter, the conversation was a little stilted until, out of the blue I heard one if his assistants lean in and whisper 'Gai' the Thai word for chicken. Suddenly, we were off! Chicken breeding was up there with guitar riffs, attractive groupies and recording equipment. In a subsequent visit, I was welcomed to the chicken farm up by the Lao border where these interests, as it were, were made flesh.